Hey!!! I haven't posted in awhile sorry!!. It was because I was majorly sick, well not majorly but I felt like crap. Lol ... Yes I am still alive so do not worry .. Umm so life is just boring right about now I have nothing really new to talk about. I did go to school today ..I'll talk about my school day.

Alright so I woke up late, and got to school late. (((Missed school because of her friends and her hottie hot hottie crush))) Well I first went to english and after english I had saw him when I was walking out the room, I didnt want to bump into him because he makes it hard for me to breathe so I went the long way around. Well I ended up bumping into him anyways and he gave me a kind of sideward glance [My heart stopped a bit when he did] Lol!!. Well after that class I was walking to my locker to grab a book for the next class and he was walking that way too, I swear I didn't know he was coming that way LOL!. Well his friend almost pushed him into me, it something like this. ((Him and his friend are walking, then his starts pushing him. I walk by and he almost pushes him into me I was like "Uh Oh!" In my mind of course LOL!. And I put both my hands up did a half turn and missed him by like an inch.)) It was a close one LOL.

Well that was that, so when it came around for last hour, which I was waiting for all day it was awesome (( I was so wanting to see him I forgot 5th hour class came before 4th hour I went to 4th hour class first oops Lol!)) .. Well during 4th hour I walked up to my desk which is right next his, how lucky was I lol. I kind of looked up at him and he did a like half wave thing so I was like "Hey" and of course his name ... o.o lol .. and he was like "Hey" back ...I was breathless for a minute there ...then torrie my friend asked me to sit in the back with her -_-". So to be a good friend I did. I was staring at the back of his neck the whole hour.. LOL ..I know I got it hard for him. Well anyways thats was my day lol.

Check me out on twitter and facebook: www.facebook.com/sweetgirl2085 \\// www.twitter.com/Realitybites22

My Weekend

So after school on friday I went over to my friend debbies house. We went to go see "Paranormal Activity" excellent movie ..not real by the way if you didn't already know that LOL. Umm after that on saturday we went to the hotel that her Aunt bought her as a present, to stay a night at the hotel. Well at first we walked around the mall that was connected to the hotel which was fun, we stopped by this fudge shop and people were giving demtrations it was entertaning. Then we got bored with that and we decided to walk up to the Arch.. if you want to see the photos I will post a link to my facebook at the end of this blog.

Umm so we visited the arch which was pretty fun, we didnt get to ride to the top but that was alright. But on the way back we ran into some football player ummm Hank B. or something like that... debbie got a picture with him and is now her display picture. Well how we ran into him is we were going to eat at TGI Fridays but they were jam packed with people and debbie didnt have enough time to stay and wait because she was going to a party that night. I didnt go because I dont like to party with a bunch of drunken idiots ... anyways lol ... after that we walked all the way back, and we decided to eat dinner at Panda Express which btw if you know what that place is dont eat there food is horrible Lol...

Umm well after that she left for her party and I got the hotel to myself, so I relaxed and read my book and then slept. The next day I woke up sick ...who'd a thunk it lol...And I had to go to a birthday party for some kid in debbies family so that i'd have a ride home. Well now I am sitting here and sick as a dog ...coughing up my lungs ..buuut I dont regret it because I had fun ...Lol

Here is my link to my Facebook :http://www.facebook.com/Sweetgirl2085

Here is a poem I submitted to a poetry contest on PoeticPower.com I hope you like and wish me good luck to win!!!

Tricky Ways
Rage, Hate, Pain fills my soul
My inner core screams for sweet release
Blank stares and non- thoughtful mind
Continuous hurt is what I receive

Torn soul and hurt filled heart
Weakens me from my inside out
My strong hold slipping between my fingers
No way of stopping it, no way of winning

Head held in my hands to keep from spinning
Turning and twisting my hearts desires
Playing tricks on my easily fooled mind
Stop! My sanity is what keeps me alive

Hewwo .. today is a new day and with each new day is a bright start... Right now I am listening to All Cried Out by Allure ...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A0sMMjq_JFM&feature=related .. Go listen good song, no GREAT SONG!!!..

Well so I am sitting here bored of my effin livin' mind, and if I am lucky I might get to go to a party today ...Woo Hoo but I refuse to dress up LOL ... This weekend if things go as planned I should be hanging out with my besty debbie ..Fun Fun... Umm so the song has changed to Time is Running Out - Muse ... You search and listen to the song LOL ... Its really good trust me xD... So there is the cute guy as school I really like.. won't say his name but ^_~' He is really hawt ...with a capital H ..xD .. But yeah thats my lastest news about the other sex ..no one else really peaks my interest ... So yeah ... Umm I applied for college this morning ... College of the Ozarks good for people who dont have money for tution .. Umm its a work your way through college ... Means they give you a job on campus and thats your way of paying for it. Soo yeah... Umm I have my ACTs to take ...when I do take them I will give ya update on my scores ...Hope they are high xD.

New paragrah time ...oooo aaaa... -New paragraph dance- Hehe... Ummm So I have been collecting all my poems together ...one short of 30 poems ...I am looking to get them published ...so yeah I hope it goes well ... might not have to worry about paying for college if I get money of my works of art ... Now listening to Fuck You Like An Animal -NIN ..not that great of a song but its good enough lol Ima gunna change it thought .... o.o ..Ahhh Dear Maria(Count me in) - All time low ... awesome fawking song no doubt ... Well I know I just rambled in this one but nothing interesting has happened so yeah ... Lol.. Umm I guess I will post my lastest poem then. Here it is!

Pains of the Alone
Aching in my chest, the pains of the alone
The burning sensation of no one to hold
The longing of my touch to feel another skin
The shedding of my tears that drown my sadness

Silence of the screams that echo inside me
The beating of the walls inside my head
The steadiness of my breath as I linger in pain
The feeling of my walls falling in crumbles

Scratching the surface of the things that ail me
The feeling of defeat as I feel like nothing
The blank stares of being alone
The emptiness inside me that’s a feeling like home

Bursting out, showing all my rage
Screaming out the pain as it falls like rain
Streaming the tears that pour from my soul
As I shiver in pain, the pains of the alone

Sad, I know but its how I get out all those bad feelings and I stay happy this way ... Well this is the end so I will leave you now ..Next time I blog I hope to have a video I am making done .. So I will post it then but if not keep a look out xD. PEACE!!!

SORRY FOR THOSE WHO ACTUALLY READ MY POST DX

Oooo greeeeennn xD ... Anyways whats new with moi aka me ... Well lets see my best friend debbie moved back to St.louis (Which she and I are now fighting cause I want space -rolls eyes-). Well I got all good grades in school besides two ... a F and a D ....bad grades will be raised do not worry o.o ... Well I have an essay that I need to write that I can't get done because I dont haveth the bookth ...oooo went old english on ya there...anyways -giggles- .. Well time to make a new paragraph. -Hits enter-

Oooo thats what I am talking about the feeling of a new paragraph ...anyways back on subject ... umm I currently single... since we last talked I went through two guys ..pauly (which you guys know of) and Jeremy ... (big mistake) -Laughs loudly- Umm Pauly he cheated on me then try to be apologetic I was no way not happening buddy .. then left me for the chick he cheated on me with ...she came back and try to be friends with me like WTF (for those of you who dont know what that means ...What the Fu**) xD ... Then after that I dated my friend Jeremy ... I was like really low at this point... he also cheated on me .. so I broke up with him like two days later after he cheated on me ... that was done with ... and now!!!!!! Drum roll please -Drum roll-

New paragraph .. -Giggles- I am still madly in love with Mark and I don't wanna date him because it will just end the same way it did last time ... so thats a no no ..so now I am suffering in silence.... -sighs- ..but back to happier things ... I am like super happy sometimes ... I got lots of friends ..hot guys to oogle at ...and poems I can write .... xD .. I will do a post dedicated to just my poems ...Read'em if you like ... o.o btw way I got a youtube Channel now .. no vids yet but when I get the chance I will make one xD.

http://www.youtube.com/user/RealityBitesMe1 check it out

This whats new

I broke up with Mark, God knows I loved the guy but I hardly ever talked to him... But Now I am with someone new he is way better, and he is such a sweet heart... His name is Pauly.. I am so much in love with this guy it aint funny ... I LOVE YOU BABY MWAH!!!!.... Anyways .. School has started back up and I am offically a Senior "We Do What We Want!". Thats our class motto and its true lol.

I plan on doing my best this year and passing all my classes cause if I do .. I will have .... *drum roll* 42.5 credits that is more than enough needed 36/40 is enough right there I excell ..*giggles* ... Anyways thats about it ... Its the weekend and I am just chillin...

Oh yeah for my bday I got a cat, he is so adorable and I love him to pieces his name is Mylotis... I know his name is weird but I couldnt decide on mylo or otis .. so I chose mylotis .. He seems to love it lol .. Oh well my cat right .. XD .. Well that is what is new with me so far I will try and keep you guys updated ... So keep a look out
(>~.~)> <(~.~<)

I had this weird dream last night. Well it started off me in this fantastic house, right. And it was me and my family living in there and some others, you know roommates I guess. Then my friend was over my house, as she had went out side ...She ended having sex out there ..with what I will not say(Let me remind you it looked nothing like my friend debbie or I'd be barfing right now). Then I came outside because I wanted to see what she was doing. Which was nothing by now. So we just sat out there for awhile. Then when we went to go back inside I had stuff to carry with me. So I was carrying this bar stool and as my friend held the door open for me, something moved within the barstool.

I immedately dropped it, then I backed away so did my friend. She's like "I don't what the hell that is but I am not sticking around to find out." So she bolted and bolted with her. So we ran throughout the forest in the back of our house, let me remind you this night time this all is happening in. We were running and we kept on fighting off things of the night as something else was trying to protect us so yeah. But it was so foggy I had lost her and I was all on my own. I was thinking "I will find her again. As long as I kept on going."

So Finally I had found my way out and into this extravagant place. Full of beautiful houses but there was no way around them I had to make my way through the houses. So I walked into the house that was infront of me. I didn't take nothing just ran through it and ran away from there. Then I realized I wanna go home. So I ran back and they were dealing with the police. I was sniffling by now. "It was me, I broke into your house. I didn't take anything but it was me. I just wanna go home, please just help get home." "No sorry we can't help you get home.. NO!" There was this man who had walked by during this process and I had looked at him. And he had this most wicked smile on his face and then looked at the couple. They kept refusing me untl they asked my age. I said I was 17 but in the dream I was 18. So I had lied and they took me in.

I tried to offer them money but the guy was like "Why would I need your money, I am well off on my own." SO yeah he was being a dick. All I could do is keep on apologizing. Then I sat down on this very plush couch and they came out and sat down too. They flicked on the news. And on the news it had this horrible stuff, all lies, on the news. It was of me being in trouble with the law for molesting a little boy.. Which never ever ever ever in a million years would I ever do that ... Then they yelled at me and I was so drowned out by the tv I couldnt hear them. Then there was flash back moment for the guy and was standing there with his own son... who had died.... and he was even more mad when he came to. I just dropped to my knees and I was crying and screaming . "This is not true, its all wrong, I would never do such a thing. I am not bad, I am not horrible." as I was crying, that evil man I saw earlier face popped on the screen and laughed. Then I looked at my hands and I knew what I had to do. I had to pray, but just any praying .. I had to pray in tongues. So just spoke in tongues. Screaming and crying asking the lord to forgive me.

Then I had fell off my couch at home, and I was praying and screaming. Then when I had opened my eyes and looked around. I had realized it was all a dream and I got up. They person in the next room was looking at me funny asking me "Are you okay." My sister who was neck to me ,sarah, understood. Then I walked away and the dream had ended. I woke up in my actual bed stunned. I was just in so much shock I had to write about it. So that is what I am doing here. Well that is all I wanted to say. Peace.

Catch me next time^_~ I'll be waiting!

I am back and with more stuff !!!

I felt it was apporiate for me to make a video blog about what has happened lately in my life. For you see it is to much for me to type so I will just say it all for you. Here it is. Watch! Have fun!

Btw for those who don't know what a rubin is ... It is a well for me, it is turkey pastrami, sourkraut, Thousand Island dressing, and provel cheese, made on rye bread. Tasty!

Catch me next time ^_~ I'll be waiting!